True Colors

Today has been a very busy day of erranding. Seeing as I have spent the majority of my days off in the last month out of town, I have had many things that I have needed to get caught up on. So, off I went today to deal with a lot of that. Well, midway through my errands, I made a much-needed stop at Starbucks for some caffeinated refreshment. When I pulled in, I noticed that the line for the drive-thru was wrapped entirely around the building, so I decided that I would park and go in for my Venti Iced Caramel Latte (aka my lifeblood). Our Starbucks here in town has a rather congested parking lot not especially designed for larger vehicles, and not large enough for the amount of business they do. So, when I rounded the building and saw that the only spot available was between a maxi-van and a Toyota Prius, I knew it was going to be my only option. So, I swung wide and pulled in the parking spot, completely filling the space with my F-150 (seriously, Starbucks... not all of your customers drive compacts. What's with the ooober-tiny spaces??). There were about 3 inches on either side of my truck inside the white lines of the parking space, and when I got out, I couldn't open my door all the way, or it would have smacked the bright blue Prius. So, I slid out of the driver's seat, closed my door and headed in the direction of the wonderfully strong aroma of delightful coffee goodness.

While I stood in line in Starbucks, in my blue jeans and Red Sox cap, I was amused by the family a few customers ahead of me. They were dressed in that conservatively eco-friendly style of linen shorts, polo shirts and Teva sandals, and were chatting about a recent family camping adventure. I was thinking how the style suited the family, and how nice it was that while their style was certainly nothing I would ever choose for myself, it was refreshing to see an entire family so clearly comfortable in their own skin. They ordered their array of herbal teas and chai lattes, and left the store, leaving me smiling to myself.

A few minutes later, I too left the store, triumphant with my own latte in hand. I took the first sip and smiled, tasting the strong espresso and sweet caramel, and anticipating the caffeine kick that would hit momentarily. As I walked to my truck, I noticed the neo-hippie family standing in front of the bright blue Prius. Again, I smiled. The little hybrid fit them to a tee. But, my smile quickly faded when I heard the conversation that was dripping with what I call eco-arrogance.

"...They should be outlawed! Look how obnoxious it is! It takes up the whole damn lot. We can't even get our passenger side doors all the way open!" The woman that I assumed to be the mother of stood angrily with one hand on her hip, and the other waving wildly in the direction of my truck. Oh boy.

"Excuse me," I said politely as I slid past the family and unlocked my truck.

"Oh my God. She's driving this? I would think a woman would have more sense." I just shook my head, and opened my truck door, and would have left. But then the son of the family opened his oober-liberal idealist mouth.

"Damn redneck. Probably eats meat, too." I froze. Seriously?? I couldn't resist.

"Yup. Damn right I do, I was raised on a cattle farm. I also carry a gun, vote Republican, and believe in the death penalty. I think people should be allowed to do as they wish with their property without the EPA having a headfit, think Welfare should be outlawed, and happily drive my 'gas-guzzling' truck with the windows down and the air-conditioner on, without any thought or care as the what freon might do to the ozone. Oh, and I go to war to protect your right to stand there in your eco-hippie clothes, with your liberal mindset, and tree-hugging hybrid and judge me for doing what the majority of hard-working Americans do, and protect your right to say stupid shit." With that, I got in my truck and left the family with their eyes wide and mouths agape, as I blasted country music from my stereo speakers.

Sometimes, you just can't hide your true colors.