We Were Perfect

As I sit beneath the lights of my Christmas Tree, and my dishwasher swishes away the residue of a meal well-enjoyed, I am humbled, rare though it may be.

Christmas for my family this year was chaotic at best. My grandmother at 91 has taken to hospice care in a nursing home where she is rounding out her days after a long battle with Stage 4 Cancer. So between visits with her, and juggling work and a social life for me, and juggling our family and in-laws for my brother, we all seemed to be in different directions this Christmas. And because of that, the logistics seemed to outshine the magic. We somehow lost track of what the holiday season is really about.

Then, a few days before Christmas, when my mother was opining about how "screwed up" this holiday season had turned out to be, I decided I was hosting a holiday meal. And so, Family Dinner was born. At my house -- the wee one-story on the pond.

And tonight they came, as a leg of lamb roasted in my oven, and carrots steamed on the stove, bottle-tops and corks were popped, libations were poured, and everyone seemed to let go a little. My Christmas tree glittered in the evening light, strung up with fishing line, after having recently attempted suicide on my living room floor. My niece, busy at three-years-old, counted the ornaments, and played with her horse figurines on the floor beneath, as my dad told stories, and my sister-in-law and my mother griped about pregnancy, and wondered about the man my nephew will become, after he joins our family next month. And I sat back with my glass of wine and observed my colorful, chaotic family. Knowing that they're all the family I'll ever have makes me love them all the more, and as I carved the roast to "Ooohs" and "Ahhhs" over my culinary skills I was warm and happy, and somehow felt perfect despite my imperfections because I brought to them that piece of Christmas we somehow all missed this year: the just being together.

And now, with the house quiet, and everyone having gone home for the night, I am humbled. My issues are small compared to what this season is about. Who cares that I had to work the holiday? Who cares that I spent the day shoveling snow, and scouring my house? Who cares about who bought who the best present? None of us. Tonight, all we cared about was that the food was good, the drinks were plentiful, and the company was stellar. We were us. With our character, humor, honesty and humility, we were everything we've always been, and always will be. We were family. We were perfect.

And, the meal was pretty epic, too, if I do say so myself :)

So, a belated MERRY CHRISTMAS to all... I hope you found as much joy in your own families as I found in mine :)